hitting a dead end: a rough 5 year plan

i was talking to my best friend today and gosh i realized i still have no idea what i am going to do after this year...so i'm thinking if this works out, i might go to taiwan to teach english for 2 years, and then maybe china after that for a year or 2. when i go back to the states i'll probably be ready for grad school by then. after having seen more of the world than before i left. i really don't know though...because life never turns out the way we plan. i don't know why i'm thinking so hard about this already when my year hasn't even really started yet. i just hate not knowing what to say to people when they ask what i'm going to do next. it's just that i know i don't want to be stuck in an office setting. i can't do cubicles. maybe i'll go to the musician's institute and get a degree in music business. i get a guaranteed internship at a record label. maybe i get to pursue my first passion once and for all. i guess only time can tell...

less yesterday, more today

i went out to the other side of my city to go exploring today. this is where the theater and more modern area is. i got some running shoes. they're pink and silver. i was lazy to shop around and the lady spoke a little english so i was like alright fine. they're not too bad. i also found the other supermarket, not the big one that i first got everything at, but another mid-sized one. it works because i got some bananas, broccoli, vinegar, and seaweed. i did that thing where i try to balance everything in my arms and hope that i can make it to the check out without a basket. however, the lady at the store saw me and got me a basket. i felt bad because i could have made it! i know it's a bad habit but i can't help it. i figure if i can't carry it in my arms then i won't be able to walk it back to the apartment. i used to do it at safeway too. usually a nice person who saw my awkwardness would get me a basket. anyway...the point of my story is...i made it some place and back. now i know how to get there! i know it's a small step but i can feel this get easier with time. i am trying to keep positive and get settled. i also found a jogging path so i can get some exercise in the mornings. monday i'm going to get my bank account, cell phone, and maybe a gym membership. i know exactly how to get to the gym too which is nice. anyway...i've been so damn lazy i really need to get motivated to do stuff. i think once work starts life will get busy so i won't feel like i'm idling so much. now i'm off, i'm going to watch Infernal Affairs again because i had a discussion with someone over how the departed sucks and IA is so much better. they didn't believe me, even though they've never seen it. till next time...

an honest confession

it's been about 2 weeks since i came to south korea. let me tell you, it's like nothing i've ever experienced. it's beautiful, it's new, it's amazing, and it's more than i could have imagined. however as much as i love it, i think i may have chose the wrong country to make this big leap into. i guess i never imagined how it would be to look korean and not actually speak the language. foreigners never approach me because i look korean, koreans speak to me and i am unable to communicate with them. sometimes i can't help but feel lonely. they say that this kind of freedom is something that many envy, but sometimes freedom comes with many consequences. sure freedom means there is no one to hold you back, but it also means there is no one to hold your hand. i'm out here in the world alone, in a country where nobody speaks my language. i mean i'm sure it gets easier, but shopping and getting around is frustrating because people look at me and just assume that i am korean. i don't blame them of course because i get that even when i'm in california. i guess what i am trying to say is to forgive me for needing to be a home body sometimes and not exploring this whole new world around me. i went exploring today, i got lost and had to take a cab home. it's not too bad because it's only $2 but it's just that feeling where you don't know anything. i mean anything at all. i think after this year, i might try going to taiwan for a year to teach english. i know i definitely want to continue traveling. i think i just need to find my own niche. i am still young, and i still need some sort of connection with the world that is familiar to me. i have co-workers, but we all have different interests. i know i have to grow up, but sometimes i can't help but feel a little lonely. i am not going to give up and come home, but i think i definitely need to pick up the language soon.

"Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?"
-Is it Any Wonder? (Keane)

On the Road: Part 2

so i'm actually back in wonju because traveling is tiring and school starts on monday. i did some shopping, enjoyed my time in seoul, minus the overcrowded subway system. the coex mall is nice but i mean, it's no american mall :P i did enjoy the converse store. they have this same pair in black and beige with red and beige laces. that pair was awesome too but i think i'll wait til my first paycheck before i decide to go out shopping again. tomorrow will be spent exploring my own city in which i was too sick to do my first week here. enjoy the pictures, and COMMENT DAMN IT!! only one person commenting. makes me sad :'(

my new chucks, i got them in seoul at the converse store in the COEX mall. aren't they awesome? i love them!!
inside tombs park in gyeong-ju, south korea
the burial mound of the sillas in gyeong-ju. i thought it looked like the place from delightful girl chun hyang.
one of a set of 3 stone pagodas, and yes i was lazy to rotate the picture.
the view almost looks like a painting...i love it. this is from the top of a temple in gyeong-ju. i forget which temple but yah...it's nice
dinner at an overpriced japanese restaurant
i like my hat because it usually covers at least 1/4 of my face
bamboo grove
cool looking figure in the temple, not sure if i was allowed to take a picture, but i did it anyway...
he was the first guy's pal
temple entrance
i thought the roof design was pretty badass
travel buddies and me in busan
temple in pusan, beomusa? i forget it's something like that. it's amazing how peaceful it feels out there
don't we look like dumbasses in these outfits? haha

another bathhouse picture as promised, i didn't take the picture, nor was it taken on my camera, that's why it's so blurry

On the Road: Part 1

to ship packages to me because you love me so much :) this is my school address. you should probably put my name on the box somewhere so they know it's for me. only my principal's name is on here currently.

the train to seoul, it's kinda cool because the chairs can swivel around so that if you had 4 people you could face each other

the fields along the way
do you like how the reflection from the window shows you all the random people in the train?
our first stop in seoul
do you like how i'm wearing a cal shirt? GO BEARS!! haha
korean subway system
Seoul station...it's bloody beautiful!
Busan Station, looks pretty cool too
still busan station
i didn't turn on the flash
weird foods at the food stand.
a nice restaurant we didn't eat at lol
still the nice restaurant we didn't eat at, except now i'm in the picture
my lazy ass didn't want to rotate the picture
pusan night life!!!
bar/restaurant #1
Bar #2 Soju drinking :)
the view from this 9th floor bar
drunken co-worker. i dragged her feet under when she slipped then snapped the picture hahaha :)
soju and coke...brings back some stupid memories but...i'm in korea and this is sooo much better than korean bars in oakland
this is what happens when 3 people decide to polish off 3 bottles of soju, thank god for high tolerance.
the other teachers, the 2 guys are from another school and my drunken co-worker on the right is also my neighbor.
the end of our first night in pusan.

actually yesterday we also went to a jjimjilbang (korea bathhouse) the largest one in korea. it's really nice, but i couldn't deal with the nakedness of the hot springs. i am a clothed sauna type of person. there was this really cute little baby girl that was playing with us. she was sad when we left. it was a fun experience after seeing all the korean dramas with those eggs and the weird pajama type stuff. i finally got to experience it :) they took pictures of me in the pajamas, i'll upload it after they send it to me.

WINTER VACATION!!!!

our exciting adventure is about to begin!!

tomorrow morning at 9am we're taking a taxi to the train station, from there we are going to seoul where we will then take the subway to the other station so we can take another train that will take us to pusan. we're going to stay at a hostel in pusan for about 2 days and make our way along the south east coast of korea. then as the vacation is winding down and we move further north, we're going to end up in seoul to celebrate new year's! then i get to start teaching my own classes!!! i'm actually getting to know some of these kids and their parents. it's pretty cool. i can't wait, even though i'm nervous, to teach my own class. YAY!!!

Periodic updates will come eventually depending on the availability of internet along our journey.

a new found desire to teach

i met the coolest bunch of students today. they were spunky, they each had their own distinct styles. they were 5 girls that were in middle school. the head teacher said that they would walk all over me because they were too close to my age. they're funny and they understood most of what i said. we laughed about how some people talk too much for their own good, and basically it felt like we were actually having some sort of conversation. they asked me hard questions and it was really very cool to see them at this level. they're loud, they're talkative, they're not shy and definitely not scared to speak up. i want to help kids get to this level, and i want to watch them succeed. i enjoyed meeting with them and talking to them about my favorite korean food and instead of a teacher, i felt like a new friend. i guess that's probably not a good thing considering i would lose that respect they should give me. hahaha but oh well...i think i am more of a friend than a teacher...i'm already thinking about prizes for my kids. it's awful i know, but what can i say? i'm a sucker for the cute, cool, and spunky.

squating without style

so the bathroom at my hagwon is this stupid squat style, you have to know that my desire to drink anything before or during my 8 hours at the school is extremely minuscule. i'm always scared i'm going to pee on myself by accident. it's awful! this one is actually nicer, i didn't want to take a picture of the one that is at my school. it's really....blehhhh. at least i have a normal toilet in my apt. currently working on the ability to drink lots of water at night and on weekends so i can have an 8 hour lapse in my drinking. DISGUSTING!! i can't stand it. i know i gotta keep an open mind, but omg i've hated these toilets since i was a kid!!!!

attack of the flu

i came down with the flu and i've been bedridden for...2 days. i started work and had to leave early but i'm actually been taken care of very well. the wonjangnim brought me jook and let me go home early with some meds as well. then she brought me tea in class. she's like a second mother. very a really lovely lady and i am lucky to have her as a boss. the other teachers are also very nice, we're going on a trip through korea, first starting in pusan this weekend and we'll finish in seoul just in time to ring in the new years! YAY!!! haha that's something i'm really looking forward to. i bought my first bottle of soju today...and it's something like...95 cents a bottle? i haven't drank it yet of course because i have the flu and i've been on meds. it's kinda chilly in my apt. right now but i turned up the heat so hopefully it warms up soon. *yawns* i'm lacking english conversations. so please...comment if you're reading this or email me. i always appreciate emails so i feel like there are still people who understand my music and my taste in movies. the only thing i think these kids and i have in common is harry potter. that and the perpetual cough that everyone seems to have. oh and these kids are convinced i'm korean but i just don't know it. it's quite cute and amusing.

i have to set off maybe tomorrow to find a gift for my coworkers. we're doing a gift exchange, however that means i actually have to go out and buy gifts!! meaning i have to GO OUT BY MYSELF!!! lol i know i can be kinda of a pussy sometimes because these people keep TALKING TO ME!!! i don't even know what they're saying :'( i feel like a leper. oh one of the kids called me a giant today because i am taller than the head teacher. i don't mind at least he didn't call me an elephant like he called one of the other teachers :-X. i have yet to find a guitar teacher, and yet to find a guitar amp, or a korean tutor, or cute boys. hahhaa anyway...i'm going to shower, brush my teeth and sleep. i've got another day watching classes. GOOD DAY ALL!!!

walking in a winter wonderland

not sure how much of the title is true...but i just walked to school and back to see how far it was and so i know how to get there. i also went to get a bottle of water because i came down with a cold and have been sucking dry my supply of water.

i don't think you can see the snowfall but it's there...oh it's there!! haha it's kinda cool though cause i've never actually needed to go somewhere in the snow. born and raised in CA. what can i say?

my first day out exploring

met the co-workers today. it was fun and interesting. they're nice people and i hope that they think i'm nice too. we went walking around town and then hit up the local movie theater to watch i am legend. it was ok. anyway...here are some pictures from today:

the back area of my apt. building
the way to the park
the long and narrow korean streets where cars come out of nowhere
the shopping center area...mostly selling winter coats and stuff
brightly lit signs...i like how it looks at night, it's a very city like feel.