death

can you actually die from boredom? sometimes i feel it is quite possible. living life in another country should be filled with excitement and adventure no? am i wrong? boredom is a stressful feeling. it's unsettling and it's painful at times. it makes you do stupid things, it makes you want to jump off the wall, it makes you pray for a more interesting tomorrow. what has my life come to? at least in the states i can drive to the bookstore or go shopping. but here, i feel like i am trapped. trapped in a life i chose to live. when will i find contentment? when will i finally be happy with the choices i made? i feel like i am wasting precious moments of my life doing nothing, and complaining about the lack of things to do.

this happens to me time to time, this unsettling feeling. i think i am cursed, i may have to constantly move around for the rest of my life. maybe i'll find a job that will allow me to travel. a year of my life will be gone by the time i go back. i'll have grown up more, seen more of the world, and hopefully learned many useful lessons. maybe i'll become a better person for it, maybe i'll become worse. now i don't know anything. everything is unsure. what will life bring me in the rest of my time here? what will life bring me in life after korea? just thinking about these things makes me feel sick to my stomach. somebody save me!!!!!