happy thanksgiving

i am thankful for...the things i have so far...

MIA

sorry i've been MIA lately. i guess everything's been the same lately so i didn't feel the need to update much. life here is pretty much the same, the same routine, the same roads, the same people, pretty boring. ohhh...except we got a new teacher. i got to chat with her for awhile, she's pretty cool ^^ it seems that a lot of people who don't really know what they want from their lives came here to find themselves.

i went to a korean pro basketball game yesterday. it was pretty bad compared to of course the NBA which i was more used to watching. however it got better towards the end. my city's team won. i've been watching a lot more sports lately, including the asia series for baseball. taiwan beat korea hehe...i was like HAHA!! anyway...it's a sunday afternoon and i have work later on tonight, i have another training session even though i've been here for almost an entire year.

i think i'm due for a year update. i guess next month when i reach my year mark, i will do a big long reflection of my year here. i'm such a nerd, sometimes on my free time i go through itunes U and listen to cal lectures. psych lectures of course :) they're interesting. right now i'm listening to psych 156? Human emotion. i know..i have no life. what do you expect from me? i watched some korean dramas and some chinese ones. i gotta make sure my chinese doesn't get rusty because of all the time i've spent here. this update is for david who told me to update my blog more.

i caught up with many friends yesterday. i talked a little to anna, david, henry, peter, and will. i really miss my friends. so cal and nor cal ones. i miss the days when we would play guitar hero all day, go snowboarding, play pictionary, go clubbing, play taboo, play guesstures...now we're scattered all over the world each carrying on with our own lives. of course i realized that we weren't always going to be together, but it makes me a little sad that we'll never be able to return to those days. i'm too sentimental. stupid will said i turned into such a sap. oh well...tis my life now walking the same streets of my small city thinking about my friends and family. i need to come home again soon. i really want to make it back for the holidays, but i can't because i have no money. $2400 a pop for a week is NOT practical.

i honestly don't know if i made the right decision to stay here longer but...i made my decision, i just gotta live with it now.

another month...

wow...another month has passed. time seems to slip by and stop like a crazy rollercoaster malfunction. tossing me around. maybe many of you don't know that i've actually decided to extend my stay here for various reasons. part of me is regretting my decision while the other part is trying to make the best of my time here...

life is a funny thing, it offers you so many choices. not all of the ones you make will be good, but you've made them anyway. some are right, some are wrong, some are inevitable, and some you just need to deal with on your own. if you ask me...am i happy now? at this point in my life, am i happy with the choices that i've made so far? well...honestly i don't know. only time can tell.

things could be better here..but then again things could be worse too. i'm just trying hard to take things one day at a time. i went to the dentist today. i need to get a bridge, that will cost me about a month's pay to get all the work i want done. i spend a lot of time alone, thinking...trying hard to figure out what i want to do later on in life. i'll be 23 soon. the new year is coming, bringing another year of challenges my way. i made a lot of bad choices last year...hopefully this year will be better. soon i'll make my new year's resolutions and try again to follow through with them.

*sigh* 잘 몰라요...

my heartache

well who would have thought i would have fallen...in korea. it could have been the loneliness of being in a foreign country that made me but as my time is dwindling, i find myself in a little bit of a panic. how will i leave this person i've spent about a year building a life with? i won't ever see him again in my life.

it honestly started off as a fling, he couldn't even speak English. then as time passed, he became the reason for half of the stress in my korean life. let's say that l o v e is blind because seriously...we could not be more different. most of the time i'm very blunt and open about my thoughts/feelings. i'm really picky about my food and he hates that. but his personality is, he likes to keep everything inside. if i'm sad, or stressed he can't see it, he doesn't notice anything. he likes staying home and watching tv. i love going out and doing different things like bike riding, hiking, etc... he loves sleeping, whenever he's tired he's the crankiest person i've ever met. almost worse than diana when she doesn't get enough sleep!! but...of course there are good things about him too. even though i'm sure he can't see them.

he tells me that i'm so young, and there are so many smarter, younger, and better men out there. often he asks me why i liked him. i guess...it's that person on the inside that i so rarely see, but i know is there that i fell in love with. he can't understand it now, because he can only see the superficial reasons why we probably shouldn't be together but hopefully in time he'll understand that languages can be learned, age is...only an issue if you always think about it, and only time can tell what will happen next. you cannot expect the worst...

i tell him he's a heartless robot, and he claims he has a heart but i often i don't believe it. sometimes you really really can't help who you fall for. we have fun together and i hope that the rest of the time we have together, however long that may be, is happy and memorable because life is too short. lately things have been going dare i say well? maybe he'll keep his word and we can go pyeongchang together to see his cousins and his sister sometime. i would like to believe that people can change...but that means i have to trust and to believe that i can change as well.

life fucking never turns out the way you plan. i'm taking it one day at a time because if you look any farther, you'll only be blinded by the daunting light.

is it any wonder...

sorry i've been MIA lately. i got a new class and it feels like i'm back at the beginning again. teaching ABC's, colors, and numbers. it's easy and stupid hard at the same time. i'm so used to having speech and communications classes where essentially all i do is get them to talk. i have kids that can't understand English and try to speak to me in Korean. they're new to the school so they've still got discipline problems and i'm not exactly the most authorative teacher so i usually send them to someone scary.

as for other things, life is alright. it's the same old same old.