breaking up

i guess there is no real easy way to break up. but what is the point of staying in a relationship that makes you tired? it's like a bad affair that needs to end. i really just liked the idea of him, someone to complain about your day to, someone who tells you stories about their life, and someone to tell you good night. but...when i look at other couples, they're really happy, where with us, when we hug we're scared that someone will come down the stairs. life just shouldn't be lived like this. secondly, my passion for guitar seems to have dwindled too. i think i'm going to quit playing.

to do list

i was finally able to take some things off my list of "things to do in korea". i made korean friends, experienced korean culture, and am taking guitar lessons. soon i will be able to take off the "go to DMZ" because i am going this Sunday! WOOT!! i think sometimes i forget how old i am when i am out here. at times i feel like a little kid, other times i feel like life is so serious i don't know how to deal with it. in reality what am i? i just want to take life one day at a time.

to love is to be able to let go

i guess it can be hard to understand how i feel right now or even to find a simple solution to a complicated problem. i believe that because you care about someone, you should let them go. when you care about someone, you want them to only be happy...you want to spare them from pain, you want to see them smile every day even if you are not the reason anymore. in time...the pain will fade and we'll be grateful for making the right decision. maybe somewhere down the road in the future...when we're making our new lives without each other in it, we'll be happy with the memories we had and be glad that we decided to be friends instead. and when i leave...i want to smile and say...i will miss you. i want to come back one day and remember everything we've been through whether it be good or bad. i want to remember the life we built together in this year, and laugh away all the pain. is all this too much to ask?