Wednesday, May 21, 2008

weezer - best friend

of course weezer said it a bit more cheesy, but my shout out today is for my best friend. i've gotten many packages so far. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! today i got the best one thus far (i know they were alllllll awesome) but this one...it had special meaning to me. she picked everything out and wrote a little message on everything. it gave me a reason to want to come back to the states. not many of you know what's actually happening at my house right now, a lot of drama that makes me never want to go back home. however...there's always those days that bring you back and remind you of why you should go back. at least to CA. there are a few people i would like to see again. family excluded. fucking assholes i say.

my coworkers say i'm spoiled. they're like your family sent you so much stuff. i'm like family? what are you talking about? these things are all from my friends!!! i have this kid in my new class that looks like my bitchy cousin when she was little. i hate that woman, she is part of the cause of this family turmoil as well. so now not only is that class difficult to teach because the kids are at different levels, the ugly girl is there. she's dark and weird looking like...i dunno, it's an awful thing to say i know, but jeezzzz this class is NOT CUTE at all. and the cutest kid in class is an obnoxious brat. he's smart but man he needs an attitude adjustment.

ok ok less ranting. more praising!! the box that came today had a little of everything. it really was pretty awesome. i got some victoria secret undies, a cute bra, a tank, key topper, candy, cookies, a plushie, stationary, pens, magnets, chapstick (which is awesome because i lost mine and couldn't find it!!!!), and other various things. CHRISTAL!! you rock :) thanks so much.

SIDE NOTE:
currently my dog is throwing a tantrum and i think she wants to eat me. >.< i think i will leave her in the computer room tonight. usually i let her sleep on the floor in my bedroom.

and of course i want to thank everyone who sent me stuff. thanks for keeping me connected to a world outside of dog poop, kid snot, correcting english, and being an entertainer for 30+ hours a week. THANKS! Christal, Staci, Angelina, Alan, Ms. Wenger, and Connie! i miss you guys

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

No Worries

i'm sorry for worrying you guys lately with strange posts that have no real explanations except vague hints of what's happening here in Korea. some of you know the whole story, some of you know parts of it, and some of you can laugh with me about it when i finally come home. it's funny that i know when i come home, Korea will only be a year of my life that will be filed away in my memory bank. it will be just another few pages in my scrapbook. this blog will be evidence that life happened in korea, but it's such a short time that it's probably insignificant. i'll go back to waiting in line with my friends at best buy for stupid sales that probably aren't worth it. i'll go back to studying, the friends i've made here will be people i occasionally email with and maybe i'll come visit some time in the future. but it's hard when you're on opposite sides of the world, time differences, etc... i'm sure the same thoughts are going through their minds, when i get ready to leave they'll have to get used to life without me. it's funny how much things have changed already because of my existence. i brought about a change in terms of treating people by age, and how i speak to them. i see them all as my friends, but in korea, only people who are the same age are considered friends, everyone else is either a younger sister/brother, or older sister/brother. and they're going from zero english to not being afraid anymore. as much of a negative influence i can be sometimes, i brought about some positive changes as well. hopefully in the future they won't feel threatened by foreigners.

my friends! don't worry about me, i'm ok. :) it's already may, i have a concert coming up at the end of this month, and then it will already be june!. that will mean i'll have reached my half way mark!!! whooott!! then i'll be 6 months away from coming home.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Fond Memories

International English School Teachers!

Friday, May 16, 2008

teacher's day

yesterday was teacher's day in korea. that meant that many of the students brought us gifts. i got a couple of flowers, a cake, some chocolates, and a bottle of shampoo. i know it's been a long time since i've written about my students because life outside of school has been so hectic. my students are crazy, they're smart, they're cute, and....sometimes they're awful. haha i don't know how many times i've had to tell the same kids to sit down in their seats, on their butts and not on their knees. i think being a teacher makes me appreciate all the teachers i've had in my life that have pushed me to do my best and believe in me. i think sometimes some kids just need that person to push you, be patient and try to help you understand. somehow i don't think i am the right person, but i think most of the kids are learning. it's hard to focus on the strugglers when you can see all the potential in the other students that are excelling in a class. if the whole class was at the same level it would be easier to put more focus on each kid, but i have one class that is really smart and they put a really young girl in there. i feel bad when i can't focus on her because we're moving so fast through the material. the other 4 students have been my students since i first started teaching at this school. they're my pride and joy. they've only been my students and nobody else's. it's amazing to watch them improve, grow up, and get so big so fast! i had some kids that didn't know their ABCs and now they're blasting through tests with perfect scores. i'm so proud of them, i hope that with the rest of my time here i can change some lives for the better and be a memorable part of their young lives.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

what is real and what is fiction?

sometimes i feel like my stories are so outlandish they can't be true. however, as much as i wish they weren't true i find myself living in a drama. i used to watch them on tv and laugh at the stupidity of love triangles. how can it be possible for someone to go so far to get someone who doesn't love you back?! well...now i know. blackmail and deceit, dramas don't drift too far from the truth.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

death

can you actually die from boredom? sometimes i feel it is quite possible. living life in another country should be filled with excitement and adventure no? am i wrong? boredom is a stressful feeling. it's unsettling and it's painful at times. it makes you do stupid things, it makes you want to jump off the wall, it makes you pray for a more interesting tomorrow. what has my life come to? at least in the states i can drive to the bookstore or go shopping. but here, i feel like i am trapped. trapped in a life i chose to live. when will i find contentment? when will i finally be happy with the choices i made? i feel like i am wasting precious moments of my life doing nothing, and complaining about the lack of things to do.

this happens to me time to time, this unsettling feeling. i think i am cursed, i may have to constantly move around for the rest of my life. maybe i'll find a job that will allow me to travel. a year of my life will be gone by the time i go back. i'll have grown up more, seen more of the world, and hopefully learned many useful lessons. maybe i'll become a better person for it, maybe i'll become worse. now i don't know anything. everything is unsure. what will life bring me in the rest of my time here? what will life bring me in life after korea? just thinking about these things makes me feel sick to my stomach. somebody save me!!!!!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

i have a secret...will you leave with me?

"And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual."
-Iris (Kate Winslet in The Holiday)